Obsessed with blow jobs??

[DM]

I'm married about 7 months and my husband is driving me crazy about giving him a bj! I expained to him many times that i dont feel comfortable doing it but he wont stop. Its really getting annoying. any advice on what to do?

[S]

Do you mean doing it at all, or doing it to completion? The latter is problematic halachically, the former is just a question of your personal preferences. I'd like to know more about the situation before sharing my opinion.

[Married_a_long_time]

My feeling on this, and most other permissible (mutar) sexual variations, is this: You and your husband are in a lifetime monogamous sexual relationship. For each other, you and he are the only game in town. And so, if your partner wants to engage in some activity that is halakhically permissible, then you should certainly try the activity a few times, and -- even if, as you anticipated, you find this activity less than pleasant -- you should nevertheless indulge him/her at least occasionally. (Exceptions for activities that are painful or dangerous.) JMHO.

[Just trying to help]

I totally agree with "married a long time". Maybe thats why he's married a long time!! :)

To the OP. Your husband has a desire or fantasy (that is muter). Whom should he go to besides his wife??? Do you want him to think about other women? Sex is a lot more than just the basic missonary position.

However, if you're just doing it as a chore to make him happy it will be a waste of time for him. Only women who enjoy doing it themselves can give a good BJ. If it was important for you to please him and make the most out your sexual relationship you can learn to enjoy it. There is plenty of educational material out there on this topic.

Sex is the glue of the marriage so make it the best it can be! A therapist once told me that when a couple has a good sexual relationship they usually have a good all around marriage.

[416/905]

Agree with the previous 2 posters (I am a girl btw). You could try to slowly warm up to it, you don't have to go full-on right away. How about just ''getting to know it'' lol. Be ''down there'' with your face close while you use just you hands... then try just kissing it... then another time, try a few licks. You can slowly build up and get used to it and even learn to like it!

You can also encourage him to make it more appealing to you by having a hot, soapy shower first, so it's clean and fresh for you. When it's all nice and clean, it's actually really fun! I enjoy doing it because I like to see & hear his reaction and his enjoyment... you may find you like it too. :-)

[its good]

[quote="Married_a_long_time"]My feeling on this, and most other permissible (mutar) sexual variations, is this: You and your husband are in a lifetime monogamous sexual relationship. For each other, you and he are the only game in town. And so, if your partner wants to engage in some activity that is halakhically permissible, then you should certainly try the activity a few times, and -- even if, as you anticipated, you find this activity less than pleasant -- you should nevertheless indulge him/her at least occasionally. (Exceptions for activities that are painful or dangerous.) JMHO.[/quote]
my wife also did not want to do it but now she lokes it tis not as bad as u think

[DM]

Of course all the guys will say just do it... thank you to the last poster it seems like u understand. what im really uncomfortable about is having the "pre-cum" that happens sometimes in my mouth. ..

[416/905]

If that's your only issue then that's an easy one to solve. When I give DH a BJ I don't take it that far... I take lots of breaks and do lots of changes in the motion/rhythm so he doesn't build up his excitement so fast. Then when I finally get into a rhythm and he's getting close, he lets me know and we switch to regular sex (I've never tasted any pre-cum, as far as I know). 99.9999% of the time, this is how the BJ happens.

Only one time I brought him all the way to climax with oral, and I did swallow, and it wasn't even that bad. Okay, it didn't exactly taste amazing but it wasn't horrible either (though I pretended it was great! lol)! And then I just had some water after and the taste was gone.

[stamAguy]

wow what an ashes chayil!

[Thinking of it]

[quote="416/905"]If that's your only issue then that's an easy one to solve. When I give DH a BJ I don't take it that far... I take lots of breaks and do lots of changes in the motion/rhythm so he doesn't build up his excitement so fast. Then when I finally get into a rhythm and he's getting close, he lets me know and we switch to regular sex (I've never tasted any pre-cum, as far as I know). 99.9999% of the time, this is how the BJ happens.

Only one time I brought him all the way to climax with oral, and I did swallow, and it wasn't even that bad. Okay, it didn't exactly taste amazing but it wasn't horrible either (though I pretended it was great! lol)! And then I just had some water after and the taste was gone.[/quote]

I know my husband would love a BJ (who wouldn't?) We're married over a yr and we spoke about it about 5 months into marriage. I brought it up, but he hasn't brought it up since. I've been thinking of it more and more lately.. since the longer we're married the more comfortable we feel in bed and intimately with each other.. I guess one of my biggest issues is the pre cum. But as you mentioned, you mostly have him pull out before that happens. I didn't realize a guy can control/knows when the pre cum is coming. If that's the case, I'd be more into slowly easing my way into it (as mentioned by some of you here). So.. males, can you always tell when pre cum is coming? Would you have enough time to warn DW?

[guestguest]

I dont think a guy can predict when his pre-cum will be coming out. However, what I do, when I feel the slightest taste of it on the tip of my tounge, I take my mouth out, wipe it off, (or most of the time my DH knows why I came out, and would wipe it) and then just move on...
If your afraid it'll gross you out, start out with just some gently licking, and lube with your hands, and eventually you'll be fine with it.

Its a guys dream and fantasy, why not give it to him. Like others said, you dont want him to go look for it elsewhere.... Be playful and explore...
(married for just about a year)

[416/905]

I don't think DH knows when precum is coming, I think he just stops me early enough that he's not right on the edge of orgasm. So maybe I've never tasted it because he stops me early enough.

OR, maybe, it just doesn't taste like anything, which is why I've never noticed it. If you're doing it right, it should be really wet already - your mouth and his thing will be really wet and slippery (if not you need to spit on it more... but not in a baseball player way - more discreetly. lol. I'm dead serious!). The wetter the better. So if it's really wet already and there's a drop or two of flavourless precum, you wouldn't notice it anyway.

[S]

Just a side point - despite all the hype, if you diet is right, precum can actually taste good...go for lots of vegetables (except for brocolli and cauliflower), fruits (especially pineapple/pineapple juice), maybe some cinnamon, and stay away from coffee and smoking. Also, cutting down on red meat and dairy products can help (don't completely cut them out of your diet, cuz that's not healthy, but the day or two beforehand, just have less).

[Married_a_long_time]

Also -- not that I'm an expert in anyone other than myself -- I don't believe precum is universal; as far as DW and I can tell, I don't generate it.

[Thinking of it]

Does lube taste like anything? Is it bad to ingest it?
I did ask my husband (not in relation to talking about BJs, just a random time in bed) if he can TELL when he is going to pre-cum and he didn't even know he did that! (I guess I only noticed) So he obviously doesn't know when he's doing it.