DOES SHE OR DOESNT SHE?

[CURIOUS HUSBAND]

IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, MY WIFE IS LESS INTERESTED IN SEX ALTHOUGH EVERYTHING IN OUR MARRIAGE IS GOOD AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN POINT TO. SHE HAS NEVER BEEN OPEN AND VERBAL ABOUT SEXUAL MATTERS AND I ASKED HER MANY TIMES IF SHE MASTURBATES. SHE SAID SHE DOES NOT AND NEVER HAS. I KINDA DON'T BELIEVE THIS. ANY WOMEN CARE TO ANSWER?

[freelancemomma]

Why don't you believe it? Masturbation habits are much more variable in women than in men. Surveys have found that a considerable proportion of women don't masturbate. Your wife may well be one of them.

F.

[S]

Also, women tend to work differently from men. If your wife is less interested in sex, it may be because her hormone levels are changing, or it may be because of an emotional difference that she feels (the more she feels cared for, the more likely she is to be interested in sex), or it may be because for some reason, in some way, it's not pleasurable enough for her! Those are just a few of the options.

In most of those, masturbation isn't going to replace whatever interest she does have for sex - in other words, if you do everything you can, emotionally and physically, then she'll be as interested as she can be (considering all the different factors). Masturbation isn't going to make her less interested in sex with you (unlike guys, who get "spent").

[nygirrl]

all women masturbate, and if they tell u they dont, its just cause theyre too embarrassed to admit it, which is quite pathetic.
(even mentally handicapped ppl know how to touch themselves to make themselves feel good.)

[absolutleynot]

Married for many yrs.perfectly health libido .....don't masturbate.It is just not pleasurable w/out a man,

[susan]

excuse me NYgirl...NOT all women masterbate. Girls are taught from day one in Bais Yaakov to play down their sexuality in every way shape and form and its practically an aveira if you actually wanna look good. Having many kids and responsibilities can e a s i l y kill the strongest of libido's in any woman. We are in trouble if we look good, we're in trouble if we dont,......give me a break!!! As far as handicapped ppl go.....is it really fair to compare? do we really wanna go there? The OP is one of many many many frum men who is sexually healthy and would love if his wife was on the same page or even in the same library. Could the OP tell his Rav the problem and then the Rav shud tell his Rebbitzin who shud hold an asiifa for women that they gotta come outta the closet.

[S]

nygirrl - There are many women, even in the non-jewish world, that don't masturbate.

[Guest]

[quote="nygirrl"]all women masturbate, and if they tell u they dont, its just cause theyre too embarrassed to admit it, which is quite pathetic.
(even mentally handicapped ppl know how to touch themselves to make themselves feel good.)[/quote

nygirrl, I think your're wrong. I'm a women, and As much as I've tried masturbating, it never ever worked for me. I read up on it, I relaxed, and took soothing baths, and nothing doing.

[nygirl]

wow. that is INCREDIBLY sad. i truly feel so sorry for u ppl.
(u shud see sex therapists. masturbation is a healthy part of life.)

oh and ps - the bais yaakov establishment is clearly in dire need of some reforming.

[S]

Um, bais yackov has nothing to do with the fact that there are plenty of non-jewish women that don't masturbate. Last time I checked, we don't have THAT much control.

And masturbation is not necessarily a healthy part of life. It's a selfish way of receiving sexual pleasure, instead of needing to be in a giving relationship to get it.