Orgasm through clit..advise on DH helping out!

[Married_a_long_time]

Oops -- I meant DW, obviouisly.

[random guy]

[quote="random guy]Ask your rav, or anonymously over the phone, nothing to be scared of.[/quote]

"Random Guy"...I beg to differ.. that's a very uncomfortable thing to bring up to a Rav, ESPECIALLY one that knows you!! [/quote]

I didn't say it's easy, it was pretty uncomfortable to ask my rav, who knows me very well, but I did it and got my answer. Again, you can always call one anonymously.

[guest100]

random guy,
I have asked my rabbi, who told me he doesn't have the mesora to give a heter for that, but that I can ask someone else (who he recommended). I did ask this other Rabbi, who also said no. I know you aren't supposed to shop around for a heter, but if you have a generally conservative rabbi who would give a heter, it can really help with our shalom bayis. Would you be comfortable sharing in a PM? Thanks!

[Guest]

[quote="almost not newlyweds anymore"]Thanks for the great advice! Question for the OP: Did you use anything to help you or just your fingers? Did you get emotionally ready like put on lingerie or turn off the lights? I feel so weird because i never did this as a teenager, so it's weird thinking that i need to do this now that im married lol.
Although this isn't hurting our marriage, i would love to feel what everyone claims to be as amazing! Maybe it's because I'm still really young, but it's def. a missing piece that i'd like to solve. My DH can help stimulate me for a long time and it feels good, but then nothing happens and its so dissapointing for him because he wants me to feel as good as he does.[/quote]

Before you write off his fingering abilities, make sure you are very wet (already very turned on) and he can feel where your clitoris is. Then, have him try different things until you find one or more that you like.

Hatzlacha rabba.

[Man's Help?]

[quote="almost not newlyweds anymore"]Thanks for the great advice! Question for the OP: Did you use anything to help you or just your fingers? Did you get emotionally ready like put on lingerie or turn off the lights? I feel so weird because i never did this as a teenager, so it's weird thinking that i need to do this now that im married lol.
Although this isn't hurting our marriage, i would love to feel what everyone claims to be as amazing! Maybe it's because I'm still really young, but it's def. a missing piece that i'd like to solve. My DH can help stimulate me for a long time and it feels good, but then nothing happens and its so dissapointing for him because he wants me to feel as good as he does.[/quote]

To answer your question, here's how I tried it on myself... the first or second time I tried (can't remember which number time, but it was the first time it actually worked and I got myself to orgasm on my own) happened to be a few days before mikvah. I woke up in the morning, DH was already gone, and I was REALLY horny. With mikvah coming up, and thinking about the random orgasm I had the month before (remember in my OP I spoke about how I first orgasmed through the clit on a whim, just touching myself one time during sex), I was thinking about it and I just started masturbating, hoping it would do something. Since I was already a little horny and I started thinking about mikvah night which was just a few days away, it kinda got me in the mood. It didn't even take very long that time, because I already had exciting thoughts in my mind... so, maybe that's a good time to try masturbating for the first time- before mikvah when you have that anticipation and the thoughts are starting to form in your head. (At least that's what happens to me during the days leading up to mikvah). You can think of DH, picture you two in bed together.You can also picture HIM touching you, instead of it being you (close your eyes when you're feeling around down there and picture these things.) Some women aren't exactly sure where the clit is... look it up online, to get a picture of the woman anatomy if you aren't sure. It is very small but does swell up when you start getting aroused, so it become easier to find at that point.
Another response to something else you mentioned, about you "still being really young", how old are you? Age really has nothing to do with it.. every woman is entitled to a good orgasm!! As I mentioned before, I was married for over a year when I discovered how to orgasm and can't believe what I had been missing for a year!! It's never too early to start! :-)

Any further questions, ask away!! My mikvah night is just a few days away and writing this is getting me even MORE excited!!
Good luck, "almost not newlyweds anymore"!.. has anything worked for you thus far? Update please! :-)

[an update]

Hi everyone,
i was the girl asking for the hints to it recently and i tried different things, but i still need to keep wrking on it. i tried using a vibrator and felt good and overwhelming at times and then stoped. but im not going to give up!